Sports Talk: REID #201
and the comedy funk continues...
SHORT:
Need 1 of the Olympic shot put guys to throw me into 2025 🙏
MEDIUM:
Yesterday I saw a white guy on the train in a baseball jersey and a backwards cap. He sat down and started reading a fancy-looking book. When he pulled it out, I gasped. Not because I didn’t know baseball fans could read. They obviously can. But I didn’t know they could do it without the little bouncing ball that floats over the karaoke words during Take Me Out To The Ball Game 😂
LONG:
As you can tell from the joke above, I’ve been in a bit of a comedy funk. The only jokes I can think of are hack as the day is long. I don’t really know what to do about it. Standup isn’t really make me laugh right now, but you know what is? My friends inside my telephone. Nothing funnier than when my friends r bein’ kinda bitchy inside my telephone. Shoutout to them.
What else is happening…?
RFK Jr. admitted to hitting a bear with his car and dumping it in Central Park. He is so dumb for doing that… he should’ve gone 2 blocks over and sold it as a rug to a rich lady on the Upper East Side1.
The Olympics are still going on… they keep cutting to celebs during events, like: “That was one of the BEST bar routines we've seen TONIGHT, and if u look over there in the stands, it’s SULLY from Monsters Inc!”
USA Diving hasn’t been doing that well… but that’s okay. It’s still been fun to watch. Shoutout to Andrea Spendolini-Sirieix from team Great Britain who’s been putting on a great show (and genuinely scoring up there with Quan and Chen, who are unbelievable — check out Quan’s Tokyo win at 14 if you haven’t seen it, she’s back and older and stronger and looking even better imho). I’m excited to see the 10m women’s final and the individual men’s events which start today.
In terms of Snack Of The Week:
Yesterday evening, the barista at my local cafe came over to my table and said, “can I ask a silly question? Do you like blueberry muffins?” To which I replied, “that is NOT a silly question, and yes I do.” He whipped out a free muffin and handed it to me. 6 hours later on the train home, I opened my bag and there it was (I’d forgotten all about it). The noise I made when I discovered it should be used as foley/ADR in movies where soldiers are reunited with their families.
Alright… that’s enough.
Comment with who you’d wanna see in the stands after your bar routine (along with what I should start talking about onstage during stand-up).
C U Next Tuesday
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Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone
kidding of course, don’t want PETA at my door tomorrow
He also didn’t even hit the bear!!!!! Someone else hit it and he TOOK IT (to use for fur and meat???), but then he got really busy and didn’t want to keep it is his car for so long!!!!