Rachel Maddow Looks So Good Here: REID #202
And "Bill Burr Summer"
SHORT:
When a commercial’s way louder than the show ur watching, it’s kinda like oh my god, we get it!!! you suffer from plaque psoriasis!!!
MEDIUM:
The Olympics are over and Tom Daley announced he’s retiring. Congrats, Tom. You did historic things (made the meanest girls on my diving team sob hysterically when u came out of the closet bc they were so in love u and wanted to marry u and now they couldn’t because “who marries a gay guy?”).
LONG:
Every time I enter a conversation with someone under the age of 30, I am paralyzed, because I instantly get cast in a role that even the best of actors could not handle.
I am of course talking about the role of: Slay King Diva Mama Prince.
“How are you doing Slay King Diva Mama Prince?”
“What’s UP Slay King Diva Mama Prince?
I’d say “not much”, but I’ve just been told I have a kingdom and children to protect! SO. I guess… A LOT!?
The same people under the age of 30 tell me that they often don’t feel connected to their friends after having conversations with them at parties. I’m like, maybe it’s because you’ve thrust the weight of multiple worlds on their shoulders? And they’re processing it?! Maybe it’s because we’re all knighting each other with hyperbolic titles like coked-out kids who just discovered the thesaurus!
How bout we try “what’s up my 28 year old unemployed transgender person?”
Let’s call things what they are!
I know that’s rich coming from me… someone who frequently tweets things like photos of One Direction where the caption is “Rachel Maddow looks so good here” — but that’s the internet! This is real life! And in real life? I think it could help! us! foster! a little more! grounded! connection!
I don’t know— I’m trying to have “takes” — like Bill Burr. I’m trying to have a “Bill Burr summer1” (and I’m starting to go bald too… so everything’s falling into place).
What else…
Snack Of The Week was my entire meal at Public Records. Jess and I went for our anniversary and it was delicious.
Other than that, I’ve just been stewing after learning that there are no pools in the entire New York area where adults can freely flip off regulation diving boards. There used to be a gay adult diving club in NYC, but it closed during COVID. Where am I supposed to re-hash childhood trauma in a speedo? (I suppose I could do this on Fire Island… but it’d be less exciting).
In honor of Bill Burr summer, comment below with a STRONG OPINION that you have (or send it into me if you want it to stay confidential). I’ll share my favorites next week and give my thoughts.
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone
Moments after deciding I was gonna have a Bill Burr summer and embrace having strong opinions on things in hopes it would help me write funnier, new stand-up, I listened to a podcast with Mike Birbiglia and Stephen Merchant where Merchant mentioned Bill Burr and said he wish he could have strong opinions and takes like him. Birbiglia said something like, “you’re a dramatist, you’re used to weighing situations from multiple viewpoints… that can be just as exciting to see onstage" and I was like… I can’t believe Stephen Merchant and I both are trying to have Bill Burr summer… (completely ignoring the Birbiglia thing — FOR NOW) (he’s probably right, but FOR NOW, I’m trying out having TAKES and bein’ a BITCH like BILL — said with love and admiration)
Hot take: I think that "massage trains" (theatre kids and summer camp kids know what I mean) are absolute trash. If I'm going to receive a shoulder massage, I would like to be relaxed. If I'm going to give a shoulder massage, I would like to be appropriately positioned higher than the massage receiver. I do NOT want to be sitting on the grass lifting my elbows up in the air trying to dig my thumbs in to someone's shoulders (makes my whole back tighten up) while some amateur karate chops my upper back. Hard pass. Can you tell I've recently started doing community theatre again?