Mid-plummet over New Jersey: REID #225
And the "Truman Show method"...
SHORT:
What’s up? Anyone else feeling like the Hindenburg? About to explode and/or already mid-plummet over New Jersey? One day we’ll all be charred wreckage, but until then? We’re blimps. So keep blimpin’! Let that blimp bod fly!1
MEDIUM:
This week, I discovered ADHD deep focus music on YouTube2, so I’m one pan flute away from curing my executive dysfunction!!!
(RIP my old focus strategy: “The Truman Show Method”: where you convince yourself that everything you do is being watched by a live studio audience. Do you really want someone watching you open Instagram, close it, and immediately reopen it? Or stand in the kitchen eating shredded cheese straight from the bag?
The method is deeply flawed because, eventually, I’d just decide the audience probably actually likes watching a “raw & real” character say, “I’ll start doing the dishes once the clock hits a round number,” then sit completely motionless, eyes glazed, waiting for :00, :15, :30, or :45, like a possessed Victorian child.)
LONG:
My journey with the scary gym down the street continues… I hope to one day win an award for being the weakest person to ever grace the place…
When I come home from a workout and try to unlock my front door, my arm is so tired that it makes my hand/key shake like a horror movie protagonist terrified of what’s on the other side (today it was Jess making ginger-butternut squash soup).
My gym does not play music, and I never remember to bring headphones3, so I have the pleasure of listening to raw, unfiltered human suffering.
I can never tell if someone is grunting and screaming because they’re doing a workout really well or grunting and screaming because they’re about to drop dead and should maybe go to the emergency room. And isn’t that interesting and probably a metaphor for something…4
I thought about this as I did the “trans workout” I found online (by googling just that… and clicking on the first result)5.
I also invented “the reverse psychology alarm clock” while lifting…
I struggle to get up early for the gym, and often snooze my phone alarm, but today I was like, “wait, what if there was an alarm that actually aggressively begs you to stay in bed and sleep through the day?” Pretty genius. I think I’ll make 1-2 million off the idea6. And Jess will love hearing it every morning.
Snack Of The Week was the Turkish honey flatbread I had at the cafe that I sat at for 7 hours trying to fix my play (probably made the same noises as the guys at the gym while trying to write, but wouldn’t know, cuz I had my pan flutes going!!!)
Alright, bye blimpos
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not [it’s a lot like when people slip on ice].
If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
Was that inspiring?
Resisted this for ages and instead listened to comedy podcasts all day and found myself rather homicidal and was gutted, upon finally pressing play on the focus music, to learn that the stuff really works
Wish my ADHD music could remind me to pack them… and then I could listen to the ADHD music and fixate on getting jacked instead of the scary guy in the corner in snow boots lifting a small car
How much struggle is necessary to actually grow stronger, and when do you just need help? Et al. Etc. Or whateva!
Humiliating to admit and probably now illegal in Trump’s America
Don’t steal it
also just asking for a friend, but this trans workout video what was it called? just for a friend!
asking for a friend, what was the name of the adhd focus vid, again asking for a friend