La Croix 2 Go: REID #215
And The Chronicles of Melarnia
SHORT:
I feel like a cop every time I ask the writers of our community-run late night show to “pls pause their conversation on hawk tuah1 so we can get back to reading thru the script”.
If you’re around tonight, come to the LAST LATE STAGE SHOW OF 2024 — LIVE at The Bell House.
MEDIUM:
I started my new office job today. Everyone was very nice, but I was a little shy—not just around the people, but the objects too. I found myself tiptoeing toward the coffee machine like it was a sleeping tiger. Terrified that if I made a jerky move, I’d get mauled... by what? The light roast beans?
I did manage to bond with the middle-aged IT guys (and by “bond,” I mean I nod along softly as they discussed MSNBC, cacciatore, and (interesting twist) Back to the Future: The Musical — they didn’t love it!)
On my way home, I realized I was holding a La Croix. Somehow, I’d taken it from the office, down the elevator, out the building, and onto the train. I didn’t even remember grabbing it. I did La Croix to go on my first day. Good omen? Or the beginning of my downfall?
LONG:
Last week, we did a 4-hour election livestream that was fun in the comedy way and, obviously, not fun in the state-of-the-country way2. You can re-watch it here (and please do, for the hilarious characters everyone did—not because I think you should re-live the second appointing of Donnie J).
Huge shoutout to all our guests, but Rebecca Weiser’s Marjorie Taylor Greene impression at 1:49:03 is a masterclass. Jess and I can’t stop quoting it—“It’s called shaking your baby, and it’s ALLOWED!” and “My mom’s a woman, my dad’s a dog, and my name’s Marjorie.”
I am honestly very thankful for the show and my community during this nutty time.
As for this great American experiment? Not adoring it. I think we can wrap it up, write the conclusion to the lab report, and move on.
If you want to watch a video on how we got here, you can check out this piece we did in February:
Libs need their own ADF… gay guys, get to it!
My only interesting thought on the upcoming Trump presidency is: Melania should have a TV show called The Chronicles of Melarnia3. It would be like The Chronicles of Narnia, but instead of finding a magical wardrobe, you just wander into a room full of very expensive rugs and then try to leave but you can’t because the secret service is blocking the door.
Each episode would start with her staring off into the distance, dramatically whispering, “I didn’t ask for this,” followed by a five-minute montage of her silently walking through various ballrooms and luxury hotels, occasionally pausing to check her watch, like, “Is it time to leave yet?”
Snack Of The Week: the pumpkin ravioli I got today when my new team kindly took me out to lunch!
Show Of The Week: (and lets be honest, probably the year) Ragtime at City Center. I am praying it transfers.
Post Of The Week: my great-aunt Lucy’s FB status day after election
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not [it’s a lot like when people slip on ice].If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas:
Keep forgetting my grandmother reads this — does she know about Ms. Hawk Tuah? I wonder…
When Trump won in 2016, I came out as gay to my college a cappella group. Wonder what I’ll do this time…
Used up all my decent political jokes on the Bell House script. COME IF YOU’RE IN TOWN.
Congrats on the job! And the to-go la croix! Fingers crossed things get easier re: the coffee maker.