Happy belated Phlebotomist Recognition Week: REID #229

And be well

“drawn to help others” is pretty brilliant

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SHORT:

Just saw an upside-down plane on my timeline.
I am boarding 1 today, and if it flips?
I’m gonna be PISSED.
Show me a new trick, dude. I already saw that one!!!

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ← me to the plane
“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads!” ← me to plane, again, for good measure.

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MEDIUM:

There was no tp in the bathroom stall i was in on Friday so i had to waddle quickly—butt out—to a stall across the way (after checking that nobody else was in the b-room).

Do any astrology ppl on here know what this means?

My uncle dan says ‘it means Uranus is rising’¹

I’d also legit been talking up this downstairs b-room all day to folks on set.

Thank god none of my fellow crew members took my advice and ‘popped in’, or they would’ve seen a SIGHT.

If it helps (re: astrological sussing), not only was there no tp but the whole dispenser had been ripped off the wall…

Also if it helps. It was #2 not #1.

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LONG:

This whole week has been cursed, and I think it’s because I swung for the fences on Wednesday by trying to get my blood drawn and renew my passport before work (karmically impossible, save yourself the attempt).

I trudged through the snow at 7am to go get poked and drained (even though I prefer my blood to stay in my body) — happy belated Phlebotomist Recognition Week, btw (huge sign in lobby when I walked in).

I waited nearly an hour before a very stressed woman stuck a needle in me (didn’t love the speed with which she did it, but no worries, it’s her week) and then I headed to FedEx.

Upon arrival, the FedEx guy told me I had to spend 300 dollars on my new passport and I was like “OKAY” and then he was like, “for some reason the forms won’t print, so you should call this number” and handed me a card with a number on it, and I was like “OKAY!” and then I called and they put me on hold for six American hours.

I eventually hung up and they called me back two days later and were like, “you should’ve sent that out two days ago by 2pm” and I was like OKAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After searching “does this happen to other people” on Reddit I learned that I should’ve gone to USPS instead. So off I went. And they had the forms.

But they needed me to pay with a debit card or check. Which I didn’t have.

So I was like OKAYYYYY!!! :) :) :) :) and went home and returned the next day with one of my classic checks where the blue m&m is giving a big thumbs up.

The USPS woman did not comment on the m&m. She just put my forms in the mail and told me to “be well”. I said “too late”.

All this just so I can go to my sister’s bachelorette party in Mexico. At this point, I should be allowed to marry her fiancé instead.

C U Next Tuesday

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Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not [it’s a lot like when people slip on ice]. If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.

Sincerely,

Reid Pope

@rpopegram | @rpopetweets

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Bonus Jonas Zone:

My friend Rima and I wrote a piece for The New Yorker. Check it out! Rima is a genius, and I’m honored to have collaborated with her.

My short film is screening at Boomtown this week. If you live in Southeast Texas, you should go!

Snack Of The Week: Vegan Cinnamon roll I ate in line at USPS while talking to a 70 year old woman in a pussy hat who is selling her apartment and “do I know anyone looking”.

1. classic uncle d