Feeling The Excitement Of Everything To Come, Zendaya Discovers Life's Endless Enchantment: REID #173
Don’t have much going on in my life but at least...
SHORT:
Don’t have much going on in my life but at least PacSun emailed me 33 times today despite my unsubscribing from them in 2012 😎🫡
MEDIUM:
How’s everyone doing? It’s still freezing here in NYC, so much so that yesterday I couldn’t unlatch our front gate because it was frozen shut.
What’s the german word for trying to open your gate but then realizing it’s covered in ice, so you attempt to pick the ice off the latch with your fingers but they go numb so you pivot and kick the gate repeatedly for five minutes until finally, a huge slab of ice falls off, and it opens, freeing you to waddle up the road to the train that you consequently miss?
At one point, I considered just climbing over the gate, but our front steps were so slick, I couldn’t even lift my toe off the ground without the risk of eating shit.
I went about the rest of my day, making eye contact with people on the street, wondering if they too had performed a manic, helpless one-person show that morning.
LONG:
Our bedroom smoke alarm has started to do this amazing thing where it goes off every morning at 4am. Never at 2pm. Never at 8am. Never “when I’m in the mood” (which is never).
Each time is uniquely unpleasant and Jess “forgets how we got it to stop” (the answer is pressing a button that then makes all the other alarms in our apartment go off, which has gotta be a metaphor for… somethin).
Our building super claims “nothing’s wrong with it”, which makes sense, I also scream at the top of my lungs when nothing’s wrong.
Perhaps the device is possessed by the devil. I’ll investigate further and then make a video like this one, explaining how I know it to be true.
Other goings on around Reid-town:
-Everyone on my Instagram feed is at Sundance this week (which should be renamed the GettyImagesOfCelebritiesInHats&ScarvesInFrontOfCardboardBar festival). It’s awesome that some people go all the way to Utah just to get their photo taken.
-I performed standup comedy and led trivia in an office in Midtown under fluorescent lights (crushed despite full visibility). After I went to Ole and Steen and got a Cinnamon Social1 (Snack Of The Week).
-Opened a business account with three other transgender people for Late Stage Live’s Patreon. Biiiig shoutout to Luis at the WTC Chase who spent 2 hours listening to our crazy asses as he put our info into his system…
Verbatim transcript at one point:
Transgender 1: “u know what my mother does…? she’s a journalist”
Transgender 2: “u know what my mother does…? *ten second pause* heroin”
Luis: *laughs hysterically* y’all are fun
-Saw this IG caption and can’t stop thinking about it
C U Next Tuesday
Oh, and please, for the love of god, somebody leave a comment with an advice question they want answered or a topic they want me to explore. It’s winter. My brain’s a frozen egg. I need prompting.
Thank you for subscribing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, please god check out the archives, they’re better than this iteration, probably.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
“Our signature pastry, a Cinnamon Social™ are a layered pastry dough, soft flavorful fillings, and topped with just the right amount of icing or sugar. Our Cinnamon Social™ are made to be shared with good company or enjoyed by the slice at any time of day.” (I of course ate it completely alone in a disgusting way with my fingers)
I would like to encounter even a smidgen of the endless enchantment Zendaya seems to have stumbled upon so if you figure out where she got it, lmk
I can always rely on these to make me laugh. Thank you :) You got me immediately with the PacSun spam. Did they have anything good on sale??? Did you fall into that trap? Hope you are staying warm :)