SHORT:
I went to Los Angeles this week. When I arrived, they were playing an extended cut of Happy Birthday in the LAX bathroom (I assume as a self-conscious nod to how a simple journey through the atrocity that is their airport ages you approximately 10-25 years).1
MEDIUM:
Everyone in LA looks simultaneously on the brink of death and freshly born.
Case in point: my Uber driver, who goes by the name DJ Loose Goose2. He DJs with his collection of 6,000+ vinyl records on the weekends (and sometimes weekday nights if he’s feeling up for it).
How do I know this? Because he played me videos of his DJ sets on his phone while driving me to meet my coworkers. I honestly really liked the Donna Summer mashup, but I was severely carsick, so I don’t think I properly expressed that true feeling.
He also told me about his friend who won 100k in the CA lottery and then disappeared in the dead of night. Shoutout to that friend! Hope you’re well.
I hope DJ Goose doesn’t read this, because he had me take a photo of his YouTube handle, and told me to follow him, and I said I would, but I haven’t.
You know what? I’m going to go do that right now.
LONG:
The only other “event of note” from my LA trip was when I ordered a Sweetgreen salad to be delivered to my hotel (something I’ve never even come close to doing in NY, I don’t even really go there in-person, I blame whatever LA pilates studio was nearest to me).
The “popped rice salad” did not arrive with a fork, so I ended up having to eat it with my fingers slash use the dressing cup as a scooper (does not work, rice will spill) because I was too shy to call downstairs and ask them to bring me a utensil and was wearing too weird of an outfit (sleeveless sweater, no pants) to go ask for one in person.
Despite washing my hands multiple times, they smelled like salad dressing for the rest of the trip, which I’m sure is normal-if-not-extremely-common in LA, but I was perturbed. And one thing you don’t wanna be in LA is perturbed. Perturbed is for New York.
On the bright side, I got to see my grandparents. My grandpa has not seen the movie Conclave but kept talking about how there’s going to be one in real-life. I’d love to toss my hat into the papal ring—not because I've been itching to lead, but because I wish to drive around in the glass Pope-mobile yelling “I’m a fish!” “I’m the Pope but I’m also a fish!” “I’m the world’s first fish-Pope!” (I’d fill the glass-mobile with water and some rocks to really drive the point home). I don’t think they’ll care too much that I’m culturally Jewish.
Snack Of The Week is actually a drink this time around: the Philz Coffee I got before hopping on the plane back to Newark. Philz is my favorite coffee place ever (even though one time I got it during free period in high school and almost shat myself in AP Shakespeare class because of how severe the brew is). If NY got Philz… it’d be perfect but also people would be screwed due to the lack of bathroom access in this city.
Thankfully, my choice to chug it right before boarding didn’t backfire. And thankfully the damn PLANE DIDN’T BACKFIRE or let its freak flag fly3 as many planes have been doing as of late.
Also sorry that I wrote about AP Shakespeare class. I find it embarrassing that I took that in high school, but ultimately it is my truth. Also you could probably already sense something messed up like that went down in grade 12 with me. I made a Tempest drinking game for my final project. Alright. Enough sharing.
C U Next Tuesday
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here” — Shakespeare in the Tempest and me at LAX4
…
Also, gunna be honest, I still have yet to subscribe to Goose’s YouTube channel. For some reason, I’m scared to do it.
…
Okay C U Next Tuesday for real this time
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Sincerely,
Reid Pope
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And huge thank you to
for the feature this week.(Or I guess to cover their bases in case it was, in fact, someone’s bday.)
I think, it was loud in the car.
Or should I say crash
City Of Angels, my ARSE! It’s a devilish place (derogatory). NY is devilish (complimentary).
LAX infamous for having the weirdest music ever… why are they playing the Selena Gomez version of Cruella De Vil……