CRYSTAL BIRDS: REID #176
and Post Malone and Toby Keith and Jon Stewart
SHORT:
Wish i had time to write this week; unfortunately, i was too busy watching Inside Sofía Vergara’s Stunning Los Angeles Home on youtube
(she loves crystals and birds so when she found out crystal birds existed, she started collecting ‘em)
MEDIUM:
Happy few-days-after-the-Super-Bowl to all who celebrate, especially to my friend Kayla who does PR for Bud Lite (warrior) and my friend Elizabeth who is rly sexually into Post Malone and has been sending our group chat “cute pix” of him for years… (mentally unwell) …… (but we’re so glad u got to watch him do an acoustic cover of “America The Beautiful1” on tha world stage, girl! Hope u replaced the word “America” with “Elizabeth” in ur head!)
LONG:
How many muscle relaxers do u think i would need to take to b able to move my body like Usher?
His half-time performance was electrifying.
Whoever is in charge of casting that never-ending Off-Broadway production of Little Shop should slot him in next.
He’d bring a whole new meaning to the song “Grow 4 Me”.
Btw shoutout to Colleen from my high school math class who wrote and performed a Calculus-themed parody of Usher’s “Yeah” — I’ll never forget that. U slayed it.
Every time I hear the intro to that song, I think about that dusty high school classroom and our teacher who always fell asleep and one time didn’t show up so we streamed the Katy Perry documentary on the projector instead.
^A few years ago I saw that same teacher eating a mini chocolate pie alone at a bakery downtown and nearly cried because he was so old/cute but also was so bad at teaching us math.
Relatedly, RIP Toby Keith. One time I saw a teen girl barf into a blueberry pie at ur concert… and I’ll never forget my dad blasting “Stays In Mexico” — one of ur songs about a guy named Steve who has an affair down in Mexico — during morning carpool.
What else is in the news?
Jon Stewart is back in a huge way.
Late Stage Live is still up too if u wanna watch it.
I’m doing this Feb 15 Stand-Up Showcase and there are FREE Tickets
I’m hosting Comedians Earnestly Singing Musical Theatre @ 54 Below And You Can Get Tix Here
Snack Of The Week: the grilled cheese sandwiches I’ve been making myself for lunch
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Thank you for subscribing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, please god check out the archives, they’re better than this iteration, probably.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
