BRAW KILTS: REID #205
and rip Jess's grandma
SHORT:
I spent the weekend on Long Island for Jess’s grandma’s memorial.
When we arrived at the house, Jess’s Scottish uncle was warming a bagel in the living room with a toaster that he’d unplugged from the jam-packed kitchen and placed atop a shelf because he, [*Scottish accent*] “needed some peace and quiet.”
Promising start!
MEDIUM:
After a few minutes (45) of coordinating how 1 car was going to get 20+ people to the church, we set out for the celebration of life service.
Jess and I were assigned to usher people to their seats, which meant shaking the hands of a few dozen strangers, who said “so sorry for your loss” and then… “who are you?”.
I’d say “Jess’s partner” and then stare up at Jesus like, “sorry for being such a gaylord in your home.”
Jesus didn’t respond. Probably b/c he was too busy checking out Jess’s cousins in their braw kilts and being like, “now that’s how you femme-things-up while maintaining your damn dignity.”
LONG:
I had about 56 chocolate chip cookies at the memorial (Snack Of The Week) because Jess’s grandma was famous for always having a batch on-hand.
I also am proud to announce that I made the commemorative slideshow along with a shot of our cat Max’s butthole (which moved me to tears… he’s still alive, he just doesn’t know how to clean himself so I have to wipe his butt all the time and it’s terrible…).
After dinner, Jess’s Scottish cousins found a live band on the pier and performed “Hotel California” with them, for us. It rocked. And also got stuck in my head. So the next morning when Jess and I ran 10 miles along a suburban highway1, I could not stop humming “some dance to remember, some dance to forget.”
BTW, the run nearly killed me, mostly because I ate a quesadilla way too late the night before and almost had an explosive emergency on the outskirts of Roslyn2. I was one pothole away from turning Main Street into a crime scene…
When we got back from running, the Scottish cousins were already at the pool on lawn chairs at 10am. We hustled down to join them, and, after some peer-pressure, I mounted the diving board in my quicksilver rash guard and did some flips and tricks (classic Long Island way of honoring the dead).
What else…
Late Stage Live! was an Apple Crossword clue! Which is COOL. A new episode of the show drops tonight at 7pm ET. Tune in here.
Jess & I went to the US Open. About midway through the multi-hour match, the straight couples in front of us all took out their phones and googled “Elliot Page” in synchronicity. If anyone knows why they did that, please let us know.
I had a public play reading last week that went well. Nicki Cochrane attended, which was nuts.
And, that’s about it…
I want to earnestly say that it was so lovely to be able to meet Jess’s grandma in her 90’s before she passed. One time she watched the Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap movie, looked at Lindsay Lohan (who plays a set of identical twins), and said, “they don’t even look alike”. Period. Absolutely.
Makes me laugh every single time I think about it.
C U Next Tuesday
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Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone
marathon training doesn’t stop, even if there’s been a death in the family
*far off look in my eyes* some dance to remember, some dance to forget
rest in peace and congratulations to Jess's grandma for being a comedic genius (re: parent trap comment) and congrats to you (re: flips and tricks at public pool)