?WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS?: REID #183

and way too many beans

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SHORT:

Well folks, my whole team got laid off, so I’m back on the job hunt. Employment was nice while it lasted!

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MEDIUM:

Before I got laid off, I was on my first vacation in years.

At breakfast, we spotted my sister’s boyfriend on his way to get coffee for them both. He was wearing headphones and focusing intently. My dad whispered, “ten bucks he’s listening to your sister’s coffee order over and over again to make sure he doesn’t f*ck it up”.

Comment below what you think he was listening to.

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LONG:

On my way back from vacation, I spent 48 hours at home.

I had the honor of using CeraVe body wash that’s been in my childhood shower since Sanjaya was on American Idol and sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine but is in the same spot as mine once was.

A highlight of the brief homecoming was my mom discovering Spotify for the first time. “Any song you want, it plays!” she exclaimed before screaming GREATEST SHOWMAN THIS IS ME!!!! PLEASE!!!! into the device.

I made fun of her for the song choice and she looked up, puzzled, and cried, “ what??? it’s a great song! it makes me wanna stand up and say… YEHH BABE!”

After listening to “Jolene (Dolly’s Version)” and “GREATEST SHOWMAN THIS IS ME”, she lost interest and scrolled through her other apps, trying to figure out what to make for dinner.

After a moment of silence, she gasped and muttered, “I gotta delete this 15-bean soup recipe… last time I had it, I almost had to drive myself to the emergency room…”.

Snack Of The Week is that 15-bean soup. I’ve never tasted it, but thinking about my mom blowing up from “way too many beans” made me laugh until I wept.

^ Haters will say that’s insensitive, but she started cracking up HERSELF after she realized we heard her whisper, “15’s just way too many”.

Comment below if you think 15’s way too many.

Also, what’s a song that makes you wanna stand up and say YEHH BABE?

Lotsa comment prompts today.

Hope you take me up on ‘em.

Oh, and watch the new ep of Late Stage. I wrote the desk piece 10,000 ft in the air next to a guy snickering along to the latest Chappelle special.

C U Next Tuesday

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Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.

Sincerely,

Reid Pope

@rpopegram | @rpopetweets

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Bonus Jonas Zone:

notes i took about home that accidentally became a hauntingly sad poem