REID #99

Aug 23, 2022

SHORT:

“ooo, and what’s this?”

— my gf stopping every five minutes on our walk around fire island to examine a poster of a naked dude in a harness and/or a decorative rock that some lesbian is selling

MEDIUM:

it’s 11:59pm and i’m hotspotting from my phone in a house full of red solo cups, pool floaties, buddha statues(?), and a bunch of gay men with 8-packs (just kidding, they’re not here rn, they’re at a naked pool party/orgy, but their chiseled spirits remain in the walls and halls).

instead of going to the orgy, i went to a romantic dinner in cherry grove with my girlfriend and her gay brother.

we walked back through “the meatrack” (a strip of beach where ppl hook up that my gf is obsessed with because “it’s a clever name”… earlier today she saw a sign for a “historical tour” of it (in september) and plans to “return at that date to learn more”… she also claims to have “seen an ass in the trees” there earlier today, but I didn’t see anythin).

in order to get to this gay island from NYC you have to take a train to another train to another train to a shuttle to a ferry

i think it’s cool that a lot of people here’s story is that they’re gay and have an amazing body

a huge part of my story is that i was in love with adam lambert as a kid

a huge party of my gf’s story is once in middle school she was rly excited to eat a chicken pot pie in the cafeteria and then she dropped it

together we all make up lgbtq

LONG:

i think this island is cool and good but i’m very bad at socializing with the members of himbo nation that seem to be all around me and maybe i want to go home

earlier today my gf’s gay brother threw up all over the downstairs toilet and then later played paul simon on his phone as we walked through the dark after deciding to actually not go to a drag show because we were tired

he told me to include the throw up part to “make this newsletter interesting”

comment below if you found the detail to be compelling, engaging, or thought-provoking

my gf and i hope that he can find love some day

we told him this at dinner

he told us that “it’s insane we found it”

he also just left the room because i’m writing this and my gf is sitting here doing the NYT crossword on an island where you’re supposed to be on molly, dancing, having rawdog s*x, or all of the above

we said, “sorry we’re boring”

and he said, “no, it’s not that you’re boring, it’s that … well, they say never meet your heroes… so I gotta go”

i think he was being sarcastic

i think his “heroes” are actually every single fictional character from the television show south park

and also probably someone in the sustainability field since that’s what he has his masters in

i’m spending a lot of time writing about him right now because he said, “he’ll respect me more if I do”

i don’t really need his respect, but i’m a gay ally, and since i’m not at the orgy, i thought i’d do my part to support a f*g this way

as everyone always says, what’s better than sex? the written word.

there’s a wall in this house with 39 decorative lanterns on it — why 39?

there’s deer everywhere here

they clearly tacked on a trans hashtag to the fire island pines sign at the dock that’s in rainbow lgbt colors

i’d tell my therapist about how the trans colors felt tacked on but i’m firing him because he didn’t seem to care about how I couldn’t use my Starbucks rewards points in europe

(just kidding, I’m not actually firing him, everyone calm down — including HIM who I’m still CERTAIN secretly READS THIS).

anyway,

my computer is going to die!

c u next tuesday for the HUNDREDTH newsletter!!

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reason you get up in the morning!