REID #55

Oct 19, 2021

the old-people-doing-comedy special that i went to go see is now on Peacock. And it is perfect. i relate 2 this lady

SHORT:

I cannot stop saying “bing bong” when my gf’s cat Schwubby jumps off the bed and hits the floor front half first (bing) then back half (bong)!

MEDIUM:

My street is currently filled with construction workers jackhammering away. I will give a Nobel Peace Prize to the first person who can create a silent jackhammer (and distribute them widely across New York City).

Testosterone is making me so sweaty. Second puberty would be better if I still got to hang out with my friends at Hot Topic after school. I’m writing this on the subway. I like the subway because you get to see 900 different brands of erectile dysfunction pills advertised toward you at once. Most of them feature women’s faces and a faceless man (struggling to perform?) behind them. We live in a beautiful society.

LONG:

Succession is back. My professor is always sayin’ not to put long phone scenes in our Succession specs and guess what? THE PREMIERE WAS 80% PHONE, HONEY! Should I bring this up in class, or just be quiet for once in my life? Yesterday I tried to tell people that I was shy and quiet and my friend from college burst out laughing and was like, you’re joking, right? What does it say about me that I still see myself as a very sh-iet (shy-quiet) person, even though (I guess) my gums r flapping nonstop 24/7?

During the Succession premiere, a Kardashian announced that she’s getting married to someone named Travis Barker. Idk who Travis Barker is but he sounds like the guy I knew in college who clogged the toilet and then drunkenly stood up and grabbed the shower curtain rod which broke and then the rod somehow ended up in the toilet piercing the clog. Being a college athlete and knowing 6 foot tall scary boys was such a thrill and a blessing <3 Miss it every single day <3

I was in a Holocuast Literature class with 99% athletes (it was considered an Easy A), and everyone just thought I was a Jewish nerd, but then one day I walked in with my bright blue Powerade water bottle (that only athletes got @ school) and all the hockey and football boys lost their fucking minds. They were like “no… YOU!? YOU SMALL JEW? Are an ATHLETE!?” I silently nodded and then answered the professors question about the pile of shoes at the Holocaust Museum.

That class was batshit. There was a girl from the Upper East Side whose grandma died in the Holocaust and she spent the entire class online shopping for Cartier bracelets and swimsuits that cost more than the entire Holocaust and all the Jewish goods they collected from the Jews before sending them into the camps combined.

The Hockey HouseTM burned down during that class and one of the Hockey players had to jump out a window onto a truck bed and run away and we were all like “ok veryyyy Primo Levi fleeing to the Italian foothills vibes!”

Also one of the Field Hockey girls in my class was dating one of the football players and then they broke up cause he wasn’t pulling his weight in the relationship and it really gave new weight to their readings of:

"For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing." - FH Girl to Football Guy

“Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank and also the Football Guy in response to FH Girl.

The class basically taught me that life’s hilarious and horrible and then you die.

It also taught my that I definitely am I shitty person because I stood idly by as people shopped online and watched ESPN on mute while the professor was lecturing about gas chambers.

But what was I gonna do? Snitch? History hasn’t treated snitches well either…

I am super interested in Holocaust Education and the future of it all. What are we to do with the traumatic history (not to mention the mountains of myths and literature) we inherit? How does academia catalyze, stunt, or blur that action? What are you supposed to do in a class where a bored, middle-aged adjunct Professor recounts the atrocities that Jews faced in every century, every country, and every culture, while wealthy Jewish kids from Westchester, whose own grandparents had fled the Nazis, scrolled through Amazon or fell asleep or asked “Okay, but will this, like, be on the test?”

Don’t even get me started on the Holocaust Survivors who dance on TikTok. These poor old people are being forced to pop-lock-and-drop-it in front of a camera so that their performative, social-justice-obsessed grandchildren can gain clout, capital, and millions of followers. All the while, it is spreading important historical information and educating new audiences and generations about the atrocities of WWII and Auschwitz… So… I guess, if this is what Holocaust Education looks like in 2021? I’m all for it… ? *tiktok grandchild has gun to my head*

Idk. I think all of this relates to the power and limits of language/images and their expressive capabilities. Sometimes I’m like “why try?” if things like this often fail or are just like… insane, but, at the same time, I’m like, well I guess we have to keep trying to communicate something, even if it isn’t fully received/ metabolized Literature/art/history sanitize and spectacularize things in a dangerous way, but also are powerful tools for collective memory (even if most of us these days are more likely to remember when Justin Beiber said that “Anne Frank would’ve been a Belieb-er”. #NeverForget that comment.

Also… I’mmmmm one to talk when it comes to all of this… Every year in middle school on Holocaust remembrance day I would be so excited because I got to sing and absolutely slay a solo song in front of the whole school.

Anyway, enough about genocide etc.

I haven’t listened to new Adele yet but let me guess she goes “ooooo” at least 1 time? Should I listen to it? Who has? Idk why, but something about her sort of freaks me out now…

I haven’t seen 9 Perfect Strangers, but have decided that the creator based it on the 9 times she walked by me when I was wearing different hats.

Has anyone watched the show? Should I watch it?

All I watch is ppl’s late-night comedy debuts on a loop and get emotional for them. I make Jess watch them too. She makes dinner and desserts and embroidery and cinnamon rolls and I make… her watch videos! We will testify in front of the Supreme Court about how that can be what love looks like.

Speaking of legality etc, here’s an article I wrote about Netflix’s CEO doubling down on the fact that The Chappelle special isn’t bad (right after that he fired a black pregnant woman who lead the trans walkout at Netflix– their HR department… will not sleep for years… god bless): http://awfmag.com/netflix-skip-accountability/

C u next Tuesday.