REID #49
SHORT:
I have so many unread emails right now.
I wish I never learned about “email”.
Instead of answering emails, I am watching a YouTube video that Christy Carlson Romano made called “How I Lost All My Money”.
MEDIUM:
I’m currently having the time of my life watching the program Mr. Mayor for grad school. How is Holly Hunter not a dyke? I love that she does Succession and Mr. Mayor. Do it all, girl! Why not? It’s 2021!
I had to watch The Mandalorian yesterday and I cannot tell you a single thing that occurred.
It’s hard for me to follow Star War b/c all their faces are either A. under masks or B. look like worm aliens, so it’s sort of like… did I meet this guy b4 or is he new?
They pass a lot of differently shaped tokens back and forth in the show (couldn’t tell u why!).
In the last ep I watched, a man with a pig nose taught the main guy to ride something called a “blurrg”.
The earth’s on fire <3 rn, but I’m watching blurrgs!
LONG:
This week, New York flooded and I don’t understand why someone like Jeff Bezooboop King Of Amazon can’t use his money to take that water and throw it on the fires in CA. I’m no scientist, but it seems pretty easy. Especially if u have a bajillion U.S. dollars at ur disposal.
Also, if anyone cares, I saw the guy who gets his ass eaten on White Lotus at a bar this weekend . I was scared to tell him that he follows me on Twitter.
Earlier that day, I directed my friend’s one person show and a celesbian YouTuber showed up and every dyke within a 900 mile radius freaked out.
Why do we care about celebs?
I wish I didn’t.
Later that night, I went to a different party where no celebs were present. I left early because I have hit the point in my life where I have zero desire to stand around in a cloud of cigarette smoke and talk about how I “don’t miss college”.
Speaking of “desire”, my gf’s gay brother told us the other day that he honestly thought Tennessee Williams’s famous play was called A Streetcar Named Désirée. Now, when anyone mentions the play at school, I think of a streetcar with big eyelashes and a purse being like, “hey y’all my name’s Desiree! I love to drink. I love to dance. And I love to use my onboard electric motors and trolley pole connected to an overhead wire to get people where they need to be! Ciao for now!”
Grad school is hard and stressful but good (like most d*cks, I am told).
Yesterday I worked on an outline for a PEN15 spec that nobody will ever read for so long that my eyes went numb.
I forgot what it’s like to have no tits in a new space. I keep joking about what it’s like to have “no tits” and I wonder if people know I’m being literal in that they’re fully gone and not just small.
Today I must finish reading Aristotle’s book where he’s like “here’s why my play structure is the best and all the rest suck mostly because I am one of the few people living in my time period who can actually read/write.”
It’s the book where he coined the famous term “catharsis”, a word I always confuse with “catheter” (same concept, more or less, imo).
I can’t wait to finish Ari’s book and feel like an expert on “3 Ass Structure” or whatever.
My TV teacher sent out a worksheet that says, the point of dramatic writing is to dramatize internal emotional conflicts through external physical action. We want people throwing pies at each other, but only if it addresses an existential underlying dilemma.
Now I want pie but I don’t know of any pie places near me. That is my current underlying dilemma. I also want 3 asses now. But that’s not possible either. Life is cruel.
I wish god would tell me when I was going to be shy and when I was going to be in a situation where I literally medically cannot stfu. It’s so hit or miss, especially this month when I’m meeting new people at the world-famous New York University Tisch School of the Arts Kanbar Institute for Film and Television Goldberg Department of Dramatic Writing (I think the school could take a note from my TV teacher and be “brave enough to make some edits” to its name).
Anyway, the point is, I have been shy and to be shy and use they/them pronouns is hell on earth.
Just to “have pronouns” in grad school is humiliating (a little CLASSIC gut-busting joke because every person on earth has them).
I also am the only trans person in my year. Slay! And our floor only has binary/gender bathrooms and I am still very scared of men so every passing period I slink into the women’s one and stare at the floor. Double slay!
On day 2 of classes we did intros and I talked about how I saw Sandra Bernhard at City Winery and it was the best night of my life and then I sat down and then 5 seconds later the professor was like “oh yeah also everyone say your pronouns” so the next person went and said theirs and I felt crazy because I was like well I clearly was the catalyst for that new addition to intros but I already went so I can’t say mine NOW and I think everyone felt weird about it (people messaged me after and were like “sorry that happened” which was kind, but also it’s like fine and more funny/classic than anything else… but I’m also like WHY CAN’T MY LIFE JUST BE NORMAL WHY CAN’T I JUST EAT PIE AND HAVE 3 ASSES AND WRITE MY LITTLE PLAYS IN PEACE?)
As previously mentioned, I saw Sandra Bernhard Live! At City Winery, it was the best night of my life. I needed to see a 66 year old sing “Summertime Sadness” after thanking her dermatologist for coming to the show. She ended the show by saying “I’m not doing a meet and greet are u fucking crazy I’m up here balls-out I’m not gonna kiss u”. Then she launched into a slow cover of Little Red Corvette.
I went alone and sat with two other middle-aged gay men who went alone. At the end of the night, one of them wrote his number on a receipt and handed it to me and said, “let’s hang out again some time, my husband would adore you”. I cannot tell my gay senior citizen pen pal about this because he will be jealous that there are now other 50-80 year old gay men in my life who want to hang out.
Yesterday I saw a lot of old gay Jewish people at Brighton Beach. I got potato dumplings and sat by the waves in the wind and rain. At one point, my gf and I went to the public beach bathroom and there was a huge sign on the wall that said “In Memory Of Harambe”. Was he from Brighton? (was he from the Brighton bathroom?). I don’t know much about Harambe but I feel like I would’ve held onto that factoid.
There were some other incredible signs in the bathroom too. I’ll attach them below.
It was a perfect day.
Alright, I’ll wrap this up by saying Shana Tova to my Jewish followers. I plan to spend this evening explaining “shofar” to my girlfriend and dipping my apple computer/iPhone in honey to ensure a sweet new year.
Gmar chatima tova etc.
Bye.
If this is your first time reading the newsletter, read the archives. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s very much like when people slip on ice.
Sincerely,
Reid
Venmo: @rpope-venmo-26
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I have also been watching the CCR YouTube videos and I’m sorta into the energy? Even if it’s chaos?