SHORT:
Should my life partner and I go to emergency room if “Grenade” by Bruno Mars (2010) has been stuck in our heads for 3 days and we can’t stop saying “tell the devil I said hey when u get back from where ur from” ?
MEDIUM:
This weekend Jess made their annual pilgrimage to Woodstock Farm Sanctuary.
I refuse to wake up at 5am and drive 3 hours to go see a cow with one leg, but I’m happy my lover can rent-a-car and complete that journey whenever the holy spirit moves them to do so.
Sure, I was forced to look at 50-100 photos of fucked-up chickens when they got home, but I’ll take that over standing in poo and hearing a tour guide describe factory-farming before the sun has reached its rightful place in the damn sky.
If anyone thinks I’m evil right now, keep in mind… I’m not! The one time I did accompany Jess to the farm, I touched an old goat named Buddy (because everyone was like “you have to pet something, you came all the way here” and he looked old as shit and the least likely to attack me). Buddy has since passed away [x].
LONG:
This section is dedicated to one of the best movies I’ve ever seen: Red, White, & Royal Blue. I watched the flick last evening, and lost my mind. It’s shot on an iPhone 7 (with an attachable fish eye lens) and stars two not-gay-in-real-life actors who play gay.
Uma Thurman co-stars as a Texan President Of The United States and does an impeccable Holly Hunter impression/ Ides Of March homage/ Friday Night Lights II: Return Of The Lights audition. Highlights include: Uma saying “rust belt”, Uma saying “transgendah”, Uma saying “Truvahdahh”, and Stephen Fry poppin in at the end as The King Of England.
According to something I googled, the straight actor with the dark hair “felt enormous weight portraying gay in 2023”…
^ He can put his enormous weight on me any day — heyo!
^ (I’m actually more attracted to the other not-gay actor who played twink prince of England a.k.a. Anglican Lucas Till, who clearly has some classical training, cuz he was serving weepy soliloquy every few scenes. It’s crazy that in America, you can shit on a stick and become an actor, but even the prettiest of boy Brits have to buckle down and study The Bard, even if just for a moment. They should enforce that law in the United States. I’m gonna throw a reverse Boston Tea Party to make it so. Taxation of Elizabethan scene-study before CAA representation).
What else… what else…?
My girl Mia from Love, Victor absolutely crushed her role as politically-active best friend. Not shocking. She’s a genius and will have a long and prosperous career.
Vagabon had a lovely cover of “If I Loved You” that made it into the film… (& prompted Jess to whisper: “Rodgers and Hammerstein? Now that’s a nice little easter egg for the f*gs”).
And they need to fire whatever intimacy coordinator allowed England’s legs to be that low in missionary.
Overall, it was a genius forbidden love romp slay. I will be reading the source material pronto, and I cannot wait for the sequel. I hope they have a threesome with the Canadian Prime Minister’s non-binary kid.
I gotta write YA… I think it will heal me…
Anyway, this week’s Snack Of The Week (picture in Bonus Jonas), was the slab of ricotta honey peach balsamic crostini that I made for a get-together. Thank you to my brother Seth for the inspiration and “recipe”.
Send me videos of u reading ur favorite lines from the hit 2010 song “Grenade” by Bruno Mars and I will post them on my Instagram story as part of the #GrenadeChallenge.
I don’t really have shows coming up, but I have some fun stuff planned for September. So stay tuned.
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Venmo: @rpope-venmo-26
Donate to The Audre Lorde Project
Bonus Jonas Zone:
