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More national trans stuff is happening (as always), and my only comment is: Not to be gay, but I think society gets worked up about transgender ppl b/c we represent that change is possible.
Sometimes I think people don’t realize how slay I can be. Then, of course, there are the times I am not slay… I want to believe in myself the way people on the street with “Jesus Is Coming Soon” signs believe that Jesus is still en route. Every time I see one of those signs, I am tempted to let the holder know that even if Jesus texted “on my way!”, there’s a high chance he hasn’t left the house yet… Relatedly, I wanna give a shoutout to user “weeniefart420” who requested that a random high school post their entire production of Jesus Christ Superstar (both casts) on TikTok in 29 parts. I watched all 29 today instead of doing my thesis.
If there is a god, he’s definitely a man and not a homosexual one. If god was a homosexual man, thunder would sound like Dua Lipa and we’d all be born with big Ariana Grande ponytails (I was going to add “& the world would be a much cleaner place”, but last summer I stayed in a million dollar Fire Island house where every bathroom had soggy, crunched up tortilla chips on the floor, so I’m not sure I can stand by that statement). God is 100 percent a straight guy who runs and slaps overhead beams for zero reason (and when you ask him why he did that he says “I dunno” and you’re like okay perhaps instead of putting ur energy toward that kind of activity, you could, I don’t know, address world hunger).
As you can tell by the fact that I have defaulted to religion, I don’t have a ton of things to report.brilliantly suggested I add a Snack Of The Week section to this newsletter, so I'll go ahead and do that: it's actually a 3-way tie between the cinnamon twist my partner brought back from their solo trip to Beacon*, the plain roll with cheese and mayo I ordered at the bodega (and then the guy gave me an extra one for free because he couldn't believe I was ordering such a sad little sandwich), and the donut holes a professor purchased for my thesis cast after they were barred from entering the building.
*Apparently when my partner was in Beacon, they found a cat cafe and asked to enter and the door guy said they needed a reservation and asked how many people they were with and Jess said, “it’s actually just me” and he laughed and was like, “oh, tragic… I guess u can go inside then, loserboy”.
Speaking of loserboy, they are currently singing Andrew Lloyd Webber in the shower as I write this. Phantom Of The Opera may have closed on Broadway, but it’s getting a full run right now (and most nights) here in Prospect Heights! Yesterday evening, we watched one of our acquaintances study for the MCAT, and Jess was like “we don’t need to study, we ace the MCAT every single day — the Massive C*nts About Theatre exam.” Zing.
C U Next Tuesday — Jesus Is Coming Soon!
(or you can catch him/her in 29 parts on TikTok here)
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Bonus Jonas Zone: