REID #132

Apr 11, 2023

hope ur week is filled with the raw energy of annie lennox belting “both sides now” at the joni mitchell gershwin prize ceremony

SHORT:

Whenever someone texts or emails me apologizing for messing up my pronouns, I write back that I have no idea what they’re talking about and that I’ve been dead for 30 years.

MEDIUM:

In case you’re wondering if love is real? It is. Proof: last night, my partner was scrolling through photos of some of our friends who are currently in Baltimore and asked, “wait, is Mary from Baltimore? Is that why they’re there?” And I said, “no she’s from California” and my partner (dead serious) went: “then why do they keep posting about how they’re in ‘Mary-land’?” I took a deep breath and stared, wide-eyed at them until they realized that Baltimore is, in fact, in the state of Maryland, and that’s what their posts were about…

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work!”

LONG:

I’m still treading water in school stuff, so I haven’t had many thoughts other than, “maybe it’s actually GOOD that it’s April and my thesis play is still only one page long!!!” Slow is… fast… and fast… is smooth…

Last night, a tall guy saw me do standup and shook my hand and said *deep serious voice* “really funny stuff” which, as my friend Liva pointed out, is equivalent to and as meaningful as the Mark Twain award.

I have been watching videos back of myself onstage and, regardless of the day/time/place/space, it looks like I always have one hand in an electrical socket. I should do commercials for electrocution… the way my body moves… (not good or bad!)

I’ve been thinking about this this week. If I did Dylan Mulvaney transmasc version of documenting my transition on TikTok it would be 900 days of me singing about b*tt hair and how my skin is bad. Then hopefully Heineken would put a huge pic of my butt on their bottles…

I’m currently in a cafe, and there’s a gay guy with a guitar in a case on his back and I really want to know if he’s good or bad (at guitar). They should have stickers on the outside of instrument cases that let you know how good or bad someone is at the instrument they’re carrying. So you can know if you should be looking on, impressed, or looking on with pity.

They should honestly do that with gay people too. Just a sticker on the outside telegraphing how insane or normal they are.

Gay guys have been so weird to me lately. I love that they freak out about the lines on my chest but go hog wild for the lines on their bathroom counters (heyo!). I’m like, “Treat me normal! We both cried when Adam Lambert came out on the Today Show!!! ……………………. right?!” Anyway, not enough time to get into all that this week.

I have some friends who wrote shows:

Go see Esther Updates Her Book - tonight!

Go see Lunch Bunch extended through April 22!

Go see Regretfully So, The Birds Are!

I hope my kids read this newsletter when I’m 50 or something. We’ll both be so humiliated (and somewhere in middle America because the coasts will be underwater).

C U Next Tuesday