SHORT:
It’s been another sensational week in which I’ve convinced myself I have no substance, and then, repeatedly replied to the thought with, “everyone has substance u gay ass bitch shut up” (positive self talk).
MEDIUM:
I was doing stand-up the other night, and a man in the middle row was completely stone-faced throughout my set, so I stopped and was like “Sir, do you hate me?” and he earnestly went, “No. I love ur story…” trailing off, eyes glazed.
I asked him to blurb the back of my (non-existent) book, and he said, he’s “actually done one b4 for the leukemia society” — awesome! He can use whatever he said for that for mine too!
LONG:
On Friday, I had to present an “illusion” for my theatricality class, and I didn’t want to learn a magic trick (because magic feels like math to me and I immediately break out in hives thinking about trying to learn about how something like that works), so my friend Julie and I came up with the brilliant idea of performing a fake strip tease at where I was fake naked under a towel in front of faculty, undergrad, and friends at 9am.
I stuffed a dozen random objects into a pair of spandex concealed below the towel, and after taking off 12 pairs of pants, shorts, and underwear, I pulled out the objects one by one (Catcher In The Rye, sunglasses, glove, pen, shot glass) and tried to make each one of them ~sexy~, but I was so nervous, so I kind of just yelled out things like “HOLDEN CAULFIELD!” and “party time!” over and over again in a strange voice.
It was so profoundly insane that my friend Sebastian laughed so hard he cried.
As I stripped in the theater, watching tears roll down his face, I thought, this is what the twinks in Diane Paulus’s HAIR felt like everyyyyy night.
Next week, I will treat everyone to me pulling “reasons to live” out my ass! Just kidding. I’ll be doing it metaphorically though… always am :)
One day I’ll write something profound (again?) in this weekly dispatch.
The only note I have written down to include in this newsletter, says, “If Washington crossed the Delaware today and someone took a picture, he’d have to have his butt out for the pic to get any attention. Don’t you think?”
There’s a little scrap after that says, “could be funny if you do sketch about Nazis knocking on the doors of people in WWII but instead of asking if there are Jews in the house they say: “Tell the truth! Do you have any party rockers in the house, tonight?”
So… do with that what you will.
Oh, and if you sickos are trying to imagine the 9am strip scene in your head, know that the song “Hot In Here” was playing. Good gracious ass bodacious, etc.
GET TICKETS TO A SHOW I’M HOSTING ON MARCH 8TH!
and/or catch me at Pine Box Rock Shop on 3/2, Metropolitan on 3/13, Littlefield on 3/14
C U Next Tuesday
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Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Venmo: @rpope-venmo-26
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