REID #123

Feb 07, 2023

“this is poetry, yes” — every1 about my Newsletter!!!

SHORT:

Harry Styles walked the Grammys red carpet lookin’ like a dam lamp from Lily Allen & David Harbour's house.

I think he’s going through something… but I suppose we all r…

MEDIUM:

If my vibes seem “weird” this week, it’s because I’m still recovering from hitting an exquisite low (I DM’d a 16 year old “entrepreneur” in response to an ad he posted on Twitter about needing a copywriter, he then looked at my LinkedIn and “found it very impressive but ultimately had to pass”. A few minutes later he added “btw I’m Jewish too lol” — a fact I did not include in my initial message to him, but… love that! My life will never be as stable as his already is!).

I spent all day today freaking out about the 69 dollars in my checking account and lack of plans for the future. People I know from middle school are having kids; meanwhile, I’m still reeling from first time I ever saw d*ck (a decade ago).

Seeing d*ck come out of pants for first time while hooking up is like seeing a rat in nyc … ur like okay, this location is sort of famous for having this, I knew I would likely c it given the fact I traveled here… and yet… !!! Jesus Christ !!! Nothing could’ve prepared me for the way it’s moving! Pics and vids do not do it justice!

^Sorry for “going blue”… we’ve been talking about examples of “live performances that cannot be replicated” at school, and I immediately thought: “rats and d*cks” ← which doctors are saying is actually a fantastic sign of a good big brain!

LONG:

I am now walking out the door to go see a live-scored screening of Lord Of The Rings at Radio City because my lover is sexually attracted to “Frodos” or whatever.

I’ve never seen any of the franchise. I do not find “other lands” exciting, I can barely handle ours.

^ This means, yes, I am the only person in Brooklyn who hasn’t seen The Last Of Us. I’m not interested unless it’s about me and the 3 other girls at my middle school who were the last 1s to get our periods.

I’m also trying not to overthink the fact that my partner loves hobbits/goblins and also… sort of, you know… ME!

It feels semitic. Not anti. Just… semitic!

Anyway, in t-minus 30 minutes I will have the honor and privilege of learning more about “how elves live” as big horns blare through midtown (is LOTR horn-heavy? In my head the whole movie is a bunch of bumbling short guys running around as trumpets toot going, “HURRAH! We found the thing we needed to find!” Or… “RATS! We didn’t find it!” — I don’t know if the movie ends happy or sad… for my sake… lets all pray 4 happy).

“Everyone makes fun of Frodo for being sort of helpless, but let’s not forget he’s CARRYING THE RING! That’s not NOTHING!” says my partner, just now, after having to heat up their pasta again because it got cold while they were telling me about “how they need to see Hobbiton before they die”. *Insert Macklemore song about the beauty of being gay and in love here and turn it up real loud*

I am going to log off now and report back after the movie.

Okay, I’m back.

Ultimately, that was fun. It felt a lot like the end of Tár if Tár also made an appearance as a freaky elf-witch in the film she was conducting. I was the only person in the room who didn’t know every word of the movie and note of the score.

There was a children’s choir and adult choir onstage who treated us to some STUNNING tunes that made me feel like I was at Rosh Hashanah / Yom Kippur services.

I kept trying to map the story onto The Holocaust, which, of course, is not at all related (or is it?). One ring to rule them all? One race to rule them all? Hm… someone’s written a doctoral thesis on this… I’m sure.

Alright, my computer is dying, and I need to recover from hearing “Elvish” for the first time…

Thanks to the 15 people who texted me during the Grammys to tell me that I “look a lot like Brandi Carlile in the face”. I wish I also looked like her in the lives-on-a-farm-in-Wyoming-with-her-family-exwife-and-two-bald-twins way.

God, I love those twins. 3 more Grammys for them. How thrilling.

C U Next Tuesday