SHORT:
I’m sort of the “Paul Mescal” of my friend group
(no longer into Phoebe Bridgers, I think).
MEDIUM:
Last Friday night, I walked to The Lower East side in the freezing cold because my gay-girlfriend-with-no-tits wanted to get vegan oat-milk-soft-serve from a broom closet of a shop next the The Tenement Museum (a place that celebrates the enduring stories that define and strengthen what it means to be American! & a place where my gay-gf-with-no-tits once got so excited over a plush octopus* in the gift-shop that her family almost had her tested).
As I licked my environmental-but-blasphemous dessert, I watched hoards of glitzy 20-year-old girls and collared-shirt boys descend upon the neighborhood, ready for an ~absolutely amazing night out~ in The Big Apple.
When a particularly rambunctious group of TAO-bound-20-somethings stumbled past our ice-cream-licking locale, I let it rip:
“Statistically, some of you have to be gay!” I shouted.
The 20-somethings did not hear me. But my gf and her best friend did. And they were like, “wait… so tru.” Which is EXACTLY what I want my art to do.
Some of the best art does it:
-The Thinker (so true… he’s sooo thinking)
-Magritte’s Ceci n'est pas une pipe (sooooo tru, it so isn’t une pipe).
And ya, screaming at a gaggle of ferociously heterosexual 20-somethings
^ which counts as art!!! Don’t tell me what’s what! I went to the MoMa this week with my mom and saw a video on a wall of a guy sleeping next to a pile of hot dogs**!!
*I do not know why The Tenement Museum sells plush octopi
**after a few minutes, the hot dogs started to move/do some VERY phallic things, and my mom and I were like “uh… alright… perhaps it’s time to go check out Starry Night now” — we aren’t sex negative, we’re just only sex positive sometimes, for example, when my grandma’s friend kisses us hello on the lips… we smile and are like “awesome!” (but, even then, it takes some muscling through…)
LONG:
This newsletter is a train-wreck, but remember, I actually can write beautifully, I just don’t ever demonstrate it here, because… it would be too powerful.
Also, whenever I try to write beautifully here, I always end up saying stuff about how "all the world’s a stage but we should be nice to each other on the stage instead of always trying to steal the spotlight/sound the best during the solo or be the funniest cuz life’s short and everyone’s lonely.”
Speaking of stages, one time I shat myself on a stage while rehearsing Taylor The Latte boy for a benefit concert because I had the flu and wasn’t allowed to miss rehearsal. A profound tale. With an important lesson: let people miss things if they’re sick, even if it means that the final performance might not be perfect, because if you don’t, they’ll shit all over ur stage.
Feel free to put that on a t-shirt, pillow, or flag.
The lesson, not the sh*t.
The sh*t was years ago, and I’m feeling much better now.
Should I see the Elvis movie again? Sorry, intrusive thought. Austin Butler is just… so hot. I wish I didn’t care or feel this way. But I do.
Today GQ tweeted an alert that “he left his hair a little messy” on some red carpet.
I saw a picture and… so tru (art!)
Also, to circle back to “stages” and the world: I’m doing a 54 Below Show again. You can get tickets to it HERE. It’s Comedians Earnestly Singing Musical Theatre. Use COMEDY5 for $5 off Main Dining Room and Bar Rail seating. Woohoo dot com. We’ll see how my hormonal voice holds up.
It seems I am once again queering traditional notions of length by deciding to wrap this up and make the “LONG” section basically the same magnitude as the “MEDIUM”.
As I always say, length doesn’t matter! ;) heyo
^ see, I was a bit uncomfortable typing that, because I’m not actually that sex positive
Anyhow, I hope you all have a fantastic week.
As always, lmk if you want me to answer any questions/ write about anything and IF ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO MY SOLO SHOW ABOUT LET ME KNOW.
C u next Tuesday.
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Venmo: @rpope-venmo-26
Donate to The Audre Lorde Project
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