REID #111

Reid Pope

Nov 15, 2022

^ this is how november’s been feeling 2 me

SHORT:

How come I can’t remember

what I had for lunch yesterday,

but I can tell u the names

of all 3 judges

who scored my 1-meter diving event

at the Santa Clara Aquatic Center in 2007?

(Brian*, Dede, Steve)

*RIP

(and I mean RIP like the sincere mortality kind, not the diving definition)

MEDIUM:

I did the New York Comedy Festival Content Creators 2 Watch showcase this week. The morning of the event, I told my therapist about it and he went: “Content Creator, is that a joke?” … All the world’s a joke, love. That should be the first thing they teach you in therapy school.

I did a few other shows for NYCF too. I was pretty low energy and kinda flopped, but what can you do?

I can’t wait to get hugely famous and hire someone to pump air into my ass right before I go onstage so I explode up and spaz around like one of those inflatables outside a car dealership for 10-30 mins and then deflate and go back to normal and hope that everyone “bought a car"*.

*thought i was funny for even .1 second

LONG:

I think part of why I am low energy is the current state of my voice and body. I’ve arrived at the beautiful part of puberySlashmenopause where I can’t fully express myself because my speaking voice will crack / go out of control and I’m sweaty and pimply all the time. I think it’s phenomenal that ur like: “I H8 Myself” and doctors r like okay here’s testosterone and then the testosterone gives u severe acne and ur like “ohhhh okay so now I rly fcking H8 myself” :)

Every single day I walk around like “things will settle down” and “all change is loss, and loss must be mourned”. People don’t actually have a problem with change, especially when it benefits them (example: ur hand is empty and then someone gives u candy and now ur like wow best day evr, something changed and now i have candy and that’s awesome) ← unless u don’t like candy… in which case… insert “chopping people up” in there instead or whatever else it is u like to do u serial killer who doesn’t like candy!

What people DO have a problem with is the/any loss that comes with change. ← A concept that seems super obvious when you type it out. But you know what’s also super obvious typed out? The fact that “KAYAK” is the same word spelled backwards and forwards. But off-paper? U gotta think about it for a sec!

The point is, I have to keep reminding myself that second puberty/identity loss is grief but it’s “good grief” ← not to sound like a British person getting startled slash Charlie Brown.

I’ve talked about all of this stuff a million times in the newsletter (and in more eloquent ways), but I’m stuck in the spiral again, so I figured I’d revisit the sentiment.

It feels stupid to complain about the minor shite that has come with a good life decision I made for myself.

I wish I could just be delusional & positive & happy, like the Harry Styles fan who said THIS about Harry’s terrible acting in the “My Policeman” trailer:

^ I think he’s just struggling across the board, love.

If you’re feeling numb/want to cheer up, watch this video of an amazing rip entry that I found while searching for the official wiki definition (callback to the “SHORT” section, do you read these in order? do you read these at all? lmk! & send in topics 4 me… pls… I beg!)

^ guy in that video is married to guy who wrote the Oscar-award screenplay Milk

it alwayssss comes back to homosexuality, doesn’t it?

blah blah blah

C U Next Tuesday

-Reid