SHORT:
Happy almost-Halloween.
Today I strolled through the neighborhood cemetery to pay my respects to things that are dead (nuance, sex appeal, common sense, music, democracy, Betty White).
Upon returning, my late grandmother’s Facebook account “liked my reel”.
Good to know Zuck’s platform has shifted from hosting the almost-deceased to the actually-deceased…
MEDIUM:
I really wanted to write some new jokes this week, but my brain is mush. Instead, I sketched 15-1000 pics of little ladies who love themselves:
When I can’t think of jokes/ things to write, I tend to panic about never being able to do anything every again BUT a guy from my grad program randomly messaged me this the other day:
And he’s so right. Faith is KEY! Thank you, Cameron! Need that tattooed on my ass (and back of eyelids, probably, where it’s easier to see).
I’ve also been boostin’ my spirits by looking at the photo they chose of Jason Mraz for his Out100 feature…
There’s something about the sideways hat, casual lean, and far-of-gaze that makes me lose my mind and laff my dam ass off… (it’s also the exact energy I try to channel when I perform comedy for straight 30-somethings on the Upper West Side, something I have the honor of doing thrice this month). It’s not a good photo, it’s not a bad photo, it’s just… a photo — and I think that’s beautiful!
LONG:
This past weekend, I went to an event at Black Spring Books where I was asked to read something funny aloud. Due to my aforementioned writer’s block, I decided to comb through old newsletters and read evergreen snippets.
I’d forgotten about a lot of the things I’d written; for example, “I do not know how the Pixar lamp doesn’t have arthritis of the knee. He has been jumping up and down for years now. Maybe he does have it and just doesn’t talk about it. I respect that. Keep the personal personal. I could learn a thing or two from that little lamp…” — hilarious!
And “When you say “Kirsten Dunst” over and over again it sounds like you are beatboxing.” — killer!
But the big hit of the night was the “Boom Sha Boom”.
For those of you who don’t know, basicallyyyy there’s this smoothie shop at the San Francisco Airport where they sell a smoothie that I love.
The only problem? It’s called the “Boom Sha Boom”, which means every time I order it, I have to look a hardworking American in the eyes and say, “May I please have the Boom Sha Boom?”.
One time I was like, “May I please have the peanut butter smoothie?” and the cashier was like, “which one?”, and I said, “the only peanut butter one on the menu” and she said, “what’s it called?”, and I looked at her… and sighed… and whispered… “the Boom Sha Boom”.
I think language is amazing, but sometimes it can cause pain.
This is a great example of that.
Also, reading this back, I realize it’s not that great of a story, but for some reason, out loud at Black Spring Books? It crushed.
Speaking of crushing, I did a GUEST POST for
last week about my childhood crush on Donny Osmond, if you wanna check that out. Feel free to share it with any friends who may have suffered from a similar affliction (gay).Also, thank you to those of you who reply to this email every week, but if you could, I’d love it if you COMMENTED on this post instead. It really helps!
Alright, that’s it. Not my best newsletter, not my worst. Just… … … a newsletter! Like the Mraz photo!
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
AP: The title of the album is a mouthful. How did you come up with it?
Mraz: We’re all on this ride through life. Life is basically just time traveling, and music is a great way to travel through time. And as I’m looking back, in my mid-40s, at 20 years in music, where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, how I can forgive myself for some of the things I’ve done, and then how I can be optimistic and purposeful ... I feel like I’m right in the middle of my journey.
AP: What do you need to be forgiven for?
Mraz: Breaking hearts. When you’re young, you have relationships that are filled with so much promise. And then, if they don’t work out, you’re left with this feeling of failure or shame which is not always easy to recover from. … (Also) I look back at some songs that I maybe rushed through, either for a deadline or just my idea wasn’t fully realized.
So that’s one thing we constantly have to do in life, is forgive others and forgive ourselves of our shortcomings.
You should sell the little ladies as magnets and prints