Debate, Taylor Swift, North Korea: REID #206
And a man named Gordon
SHORT:
The Presidential debate is this eve.
28% of voters feel they need “more info” on Kamala before being able to make their decision. And 9% feel they don’t know enough about Trump.
Those 9% are… coma patients 🤓
MEDIUM:
Taylor Swift was at the US Open, and once again, there were pictures of her hanging out with members from the band “HAIM”.
Whenever I see pictures of Taylor Swift hanging out with the band HAIM, it reminds me of those WWII movies where a Nazi kid befriends a Jewish kid…
It’s not… right…
And now I’m imagining HAIM escaping through a window in the middle of the night… leaving behind a single tambourine…
LONG:
I did a Jewish comedy show on Friday and talked about my first kiss… which was with the rabbi’s son in 7th grade. It was less of a kiss and more — have you ever seen two shopping carts run into each other?
We both had braces… so it was a lot of metal just… clanging.
Not a pretty sight.
I imagine god looking down at us like: “Damn, I should’ve put something in the 10 Commandments about this… ‘Thou shalt not do… [*waves hands*] whatever it is I’m looking at right now’.”
Most of my middle school life is blurry/black hole-y, but I’ve been revisiting it for stand-up and because my sister is getting married in a year (and I wanna dredge up some SH*T during my speech)…
We shared a bunk bed as kids, and she would wake up screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night, convinced that North Korea was going to bomb our house. I’d be like, girl, I really don’t think we’re their primary target, but if so, I hope they bomb our room first so I can FINALLY GET SOME REST.
Do we think that’s a good anecdote for her special day? Screams love to me.
Snack Of The Week is the 1 dollar pastry I had while sitting on a park bench today. It was sort of a homemade blueberry pop-tart. De-lish.
Then a man named Gordon showed up and started talking to me.
I’ve come to find that, if am at the park, a man named Gordon with missing teeth and a ponytail is gonna come up and let me know that his family used to own 25th and 26th street until his grandfather started betting on horses.
Who’s your Gordon?
Shows You Can Come To This Month:
9/10 7pm Gatekeeper Debate Cry-A-Long @ BCC
9/13 The Chris Gethard Show @ UCBNY
9/22 5pm Rejected Shorts @ Caveat
9/27 6pm Late Stage Live taping at BRIC (message me for link)
10/4 10pm LSL & Friends at Union Hall
…
C U Next Tuesday
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Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not [it’s a lot like when people slip on ice].
If this is your first time reading, pls check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
😂❣️