CHICKEN PICCATA MADE BY A LIZA-MINNELLI-LOOKIN' WOMAN: REID #163
Taylor Swift, Selling Sunset, The Golden Bachelor, & MORE
SHORT:
If Taylor Swift
is non-binary
then I am
Rudy Giuliani.
MEDIUM:
It has been another breathtaking week of applying to jobs and flinging stand-up clips up onto Instagram and TikTok like pennies into the Trevi fountain (except I’m not in Italy I’m on the toilet in Brooklyn after eating a microwaveable burrito).
LONG:
I’ve spent most of my days entirely inside, which is a great way to forget who you are and why anyone on the planet does anything.
My only significant outing of this week was to a bar, where I performed “drag” as a possessed/hand-job-hungry Lauren Boebert to the opening theme of Beetlejuice… (better in concept than in execution).
I am, however, thoroughly enjoying my current diet (reality television).
Selling Sunset has me whispering things to myself like, “I can’t believe this millionaire with basketball boobs is only 30” and “Who’s the razzle-dazzle-hat guy? Looks like Dianne Keaton on meth.”
Susan on The Golden Bachelor (a woman I fell in love with when they showed her alone in the pool staring into the middle-distance) FINALLY got some respect put on her name during the “Women Tell All” by none other than KRIS JENNER. A few days later, she popped up on my TikTok, and I spent the next 10-20 mins watching clips of her making Chicken Piccata* on Philly local news.
While Gerry didn’t end up choosing Susan to be his Golden wife, she is PERFECT for my 26-year-old straight guy friend who’s inexplicably only into women who look like Liza Minnelli (add a stripe on the flag for him).
*Snack Of The Week
I’ve been sick/delirious/working on a public access comedy show that shoots this Friday, so most of my thoughts outside of that have looked like this:
Wish I had more joke-power/depth in me, but it’s all going toward the show.
I’m excited to see how it turns out (and will link it here next week! + monthly after that).
Follow this mysterious Instagram account for more info soon.
C U Next Tuesday
Thank you for subscribing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not – it’s a lot like when people slip on ice. If this is your first time reading, check out the archives.
Sincerely,
Reid Pope
Bonus Jonas Zone:
If you were to do drag with a lil congressional flair, what would your act look like?